5 Things to Think About When Cutting Your Guest List

Apr 4

You’ve found a venue, settled on a date, and now it’s time to start drafting up your wedding guest list. How exciting! You’ve added your family, friends, and acquaintances—but then you realize your list is quickly getting out of hand. As a wedding planner, I’ve seen this happen time and time again. And while you’d love to invite everyone and their mothers, it’s just not realistic. You have to take into account your desired wedding size, your venue capacity, and your budget constraints. All these factors make finalizing your list a little more difficult. And as you continue to condense your guest list, it’ll only become more and more difficult. That’s where I come in.

Maybe you’re wanting to save money, or maybe you’re dreaming of a smaller, intimate celebration. Whatever the reason may be, there are plenty of ways you can trim your original guest list. Here are five tips that’ll make cutting your guest list that much easier.

1. Be Selective With Your Plus Ones

When you’re planning your dream wedding, odds are you have somewhat of an idea of who you want in attendance. Those people you picture will inevitably be extended a formal invitation. That’s not so much the case when it comes to their plus ones. So if you find yourself in a position where you’re needing to trim your guest list, start with plus ones. You can nix plus ones together or selectively hand them out. A good rule of thumb, and something I tell my clients, is “no ring, no bring.” This means if they aren’t married or in a long-term relationship, they’re not extended an extra invitation.

2. Have a Child-Free Wedding

While controversial, having a child-free wedding is still an option. Having an age limit for those in attendance will help trim your wedding guest list immensely. But, with that being said, pulling off an adults-only celebration isn’t always the easiest. This is especially difficult if you and many of your guests have young ones. So before settling on this option, keep in mind many loved ones may not be able to attend due to logistics (can’t find a babysitter, can’t travel without their children, etc.).

3. Don’t Invite Anyone Out Of Obligation

Inviting out of obligation is all too common. Maybe your parents are paying for the wedding, so you feel obliged to extend an invitation to their long list of friends. Maybe you feel obligated to return the invite to an old friend that included you on their guest list. If you find yourself in this situation, consider this your reminder to only invite those you want to celebrate with. It’s your wedding, your rules—don’t feel guilty.

If you’re struggling to narrow down your list, start by creating a VIP list with your partner. This list should include all the people you will be extending an invite to no matter what. Those you can’t envision your day without. Then work your way through the rest of the list and ask yourself these questions:

Do you talk and catch up with this person regularly?
When is the last time you saw each other?
Do you feel pressured to invite that person to appease someone else?
Does this person create a safe, judgment-free space for you?
Would you feel comfortable sharing intimate vows in front of this person?
Can you imagine getting married without this person’s presence?

These will help you gauge whether or not you're inviting them out of obligation or because you can’t picture your day without them.

4. Plan A Post-Wedding Party

You want an intimate wedding or elopement, but you also want to celebrate with all your family and friends. Newsflash, you can have both. And I know you’re probably wondering ‘Jenn, how is that even possible?’ It’s simple. Start by planning the wedding day you’ve always dreamt of, whether that be a party-of-two elopement or a micro wedding with a handful of special people. Then, schedule a post-wedding party for a future date where you can celebrate with all of your loved ones, including those that weren’t in attendance.

This is the perfect solution for those planning an elopement. It’s also perfect for couples that are looking for unique ways to save money on their wedding day.

5. Ask Guests to Attend Virtually

While you’d love to fit everyone on your guest list, it’s just not realistic. Whether that be because of your venue capacity or your budget. But thanks to technology, there are ways to incorporate ] guests virtually as well. Talk with your wedding planner for ideas that’ll work best for you, but some to consider are setting up a Facebook live or Zoom call. This will allow you to trim your guest list while still making those not physically in attendance feel included—it’s a win-win.

Finalizing your wedding guest list is never easy. And having to cut your original guest list (for whatever reason) is even more difficult. This is where fitting a wedding planner into your budget will come in handy. Having a third party, industry pro on your side to talk through your options will be key to avoiding any wedding planning stress. We’ve got your back every step of the way.